I am hugging my teddy bear in the middle of the night, trying to pretend that I am a young kid for the day will never come back. Growing up seems a long process that goes up and down, No one is at my side forever to hold me when I fall, but our system are made to have those who always push to get more.

It is an unfortunate bonus that comes with what I like to do. I wish I didn't know what I am aiming for so I can be directionless. Perhaps, that would make me felt better and everything else changes. Oh, I just wish I am like the other kid that live with smiles and parents that knew how to care, not simply protective. 

I wish I have never inherited that entrepreneur spirit from my dad. That way I never touch something that is so addictive to pursue in life. My dad did not know nor care why I took business classes but dad, I did many things to catch your attention and to make you proud. 

I wish I didn't know how to push myself, in work and education; then, I will get more time to do and experience different thing in life. I wish I did not know how to build that bridge between dreams and goals.

I wish I am not caring for others then, I do not suffer dilemma trying to figure out and focus on making everyone happy. I wish I use that effort to make myself happy instead. My effort has not been appreciated but thought as negative effort, Oh people, I wish I understand what you are thinking. 

Christmas is full of love. I never a single moment asked for gifts that I received, wishes that I get and encouragement from others.

Very very precious. I left work Tuesday evening, greeting everyone Merry Christmas and send out emails and emails of greetings for this festive season. 

I wish for the magical spirit to sustain itself because it is super wonderful. Not a single moment I wish Dec 25 goes away. To all my blog reader, I wish you and your family a Merry Christmas.